


Not All Heroes (Happy Birthday)

by ZombieJesus



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Batman-themed surprise party, Kissing, Light as the Joker, Light's monologues, M/M, Misa as Harley, Pretending, Soichiro as Comm Gordon, Somebody Gets Punched, Watari as Alfred, a dash of crack, but mostly a mushy romance, featuring L as Batman, light is kira, not so surprising, true lies, what L really wants for his birthday, who let Ryuk near the punch bowl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 14:56:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16477697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZombieJesus/pseuds/ZombieJesus
Summary: Light tries to throw a Batman-themed surprise birthday party for L, but one thing after another goes wrong. Somebody spiked the punchbowl and L tells Light what he really wants for his birthday.Written for L’s birthday 10/31/18





	Not All Heroes (Happy Birthday)

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday to L Lawliet!

“Shhhhhh everybody hide! He’s coming!” Light ran back into the room from where he’d been peeking out the hallway door, ducking down behind a desk. Aizawa was there too, his fluffy hair still poking above the desk despite Light’s attempts to push it back down. He turned to the others, holding up a finger like ‘quiet,’ smiling to himself. It was L’s birthday and the detective thought no one knew, but Light had meticulously planned a surprise Batman-themed Halloween party for him after work. It wasn’t easy hiding anything from L, but Light was sure that he had no clue. He ducked down when he heard the doors open, all eyes on him to give the signal to leap out and yell ‘surprise!’

 

L meandered into the monitor room, looking around at all the empty desks as a fork dangled from his mouth, a large platter in his hand. “Mmmf?” He pulled the fork away, chuckling to himself at the team’s silliness. _Of course I knew, but I’ll play along._ A little louder and more deliberate than his usual voice, “Oh...I wonder where the team could be? I expected that everyone would still be here diligently working on the Kira case. How disappointing.”

 

Light heard Matsuda and Misa giggle from behind his desk and cut his eyes to them, sighing because really he should have known. _Don’t blow it! I’ve been planning this for a month!_ He held out a finger….one….two….three…..and stood up from behind the desk as they all yelled, “SURPRISE!” Watari opened a confetti cracker behind L as he stood up, the colorful paper exploding and drifting down to settle on L’s wild mop.

 

L looked at them blankly, clearly not surprised as he ate another bite of cake. “Goodness. What a shock. I had no idea.”

 

Matsuda rushed up to him in his Riddler costume, grinning wide, “Happy birthday Ryuzaki! I hope you weren’t very startled! I know how you can get with surprises like with that shinigami incident when you fell out of your---”

 

Light coughed loudly before L could retort, stifling a laugh as he walked up to L. “I think that’s enough Matsuda. Happy bir---” Light stopped mid-sentence and gasped because there in L’s hands was the bat-shaped birthday cake he’d made especially for this!! And L was just digging into it with a fork, shoveling it into his mouth! “Ryuzaki!! That cake was for the party! We were going to put candles on it and everything!” He’d hidden it in the very back of the enormous walk-in fridge only an hour ago, content that it was safe for at least that small period of time. But no, no cake was safe in Kira HQ when L was anywhere nearby. _A fatal error, how could I have miscalculated so badly?!_

 

“Light-kun,” L mumbled with a mouth full of cake and pointed down to the words on it, “this clearly had my name on it. I expected you would hide something today given your plans to surprise me.”

 

Light was steaming mad that not only was L not surprised, he’d ruined his special cake. He took a deep breath, shoving his hands into the pockets of his purple-striped Joker suit as he jerked his chin. “Well, I suppose the party is ruined now. Hope you’re happy.”

L looked up at Light and gave him a little smile, it was so easy to prod him and rather cute when he got huffy. “Don’t make that face, Light-kun, although it is quite amusing with that Joker makeup on. Watari has a back-up cake.” He turned to Watari, dressed as Alfred Pennyworth. “Isn’t that right?” He speared part of the bat wing, making a noise of approval around the fork as he ate it. Mouth full, “Bis one is weawy goof tho.”

 

Watari’s mustache twitched as he smiled and adjusted his fake monocle, “Just so, sir. Shall I get it now?” When L nodded, the butler went into his office to retrieve it while the rest of the team came up and offered birthday wishes to their boss.

 

Light was the Joker of course, but Mogi was dressed as the Penguin, Matsuda was the Riddler, Aizawa was Robin, Soichiro was Commissioner Gordon, Ide was Two-Face, and Misa was Harley Quinn. She ran up to throw her arms around L and give him a peck on the cheek. “Misa Misa wishes you a happy birthday Ryuzaki! Guess you’re getting even older today!” She giggled at his blush from the kiss. “What do you think of everyone’s costumes, hmm? I had my agent get them from a real stage production of Batman, and had my makeup artist do Light’s face!” She twirled and tried to do a cartwheel like Harley but just crashed into Aizawa instead.

 

The man grumbled and pulled at his spandex suit, clearly only wearing his costume under extreme duress. “This was Light’s idea, Ryuzaki. Rolling Halloween into a surprise party.” He crossed his arms and frowned, “I told him you’d think it was silly and undignified.”

 

“Actually I love Batman and all your costumes are fantastic.” L nodded approvingly as he looked around the room, tilting his head when he got to Matsuda. “You chose the Riddler?” It hardly seemed appropriate given the level of jokes Matsuda was capable of.

 

“That’s right!” Matsuda leaned on his question-mark cane, nodding and trying to look very villainous. “Riddle me this!”

 

L stared back deadpan. “Riddle you what, exactly?”

 

Matsuda grimaced, he hadn’t expected that. “Uhhh. I dunno….um....oh I got it! How many cupcakes can you eat if your stomach is empty?”

 

“I think my personal record is 26 cupcakes on an empty stomach.” L finished off the bat cake and handed the empty platter to Soichiro, who stared down at it in irritation.

 

Matsuda laughed and shook his head, “Nuh uh! Just one, then your stomach isn’t empty anymore.”

 

L closed his eyes and took a deep breath, but was interrupted by Watari bringing in the new cake before any unfortunate words left his mouth. The butler had wheeled in a cart laden with snacks and a huge bowl of punch. “Here we are, snacks and punch for everyone. Now please share this time, Ryuzaki, even if it is your birthday.” He winked at Light, who was still sulking despite the Joker grin painted on his face. “I believe the team has also gotten you some presents as well.” He motioned to a side table heaped with wrapped packages. “Happy birthday, sir.” Watari held up a very realistic Batman costume, sized down quite a bit to fit the man’s lanky frame, and L quickly snatched it up and dashed out of the room to put it on.

 

Light knew there was no point in being annoyed, they’d have fun despite the spoiled surprises and it was sorely needed after all the stress of the case on the team. In a way, he felt a little bad for it, because of course it was his fault. Kira or not (and yes, of course he was Kira), he’d still come to respect and like the people he’d worked beside all these months. _Especially L._ His painted smile faded into a real one as he watched L come back in his suit and tear into the presents with the excitement of a child, wishing that he could give L a better present. _The one I really would like to give him and receive in return, his true friendship and understanding. An end to our antagonism._ But that could never be. L may think of Light as his first friend, but Kira was his hated enemy. _I won’t think about that right now._

 

One other party-goer was there-- Ryuk was darting around the room and poking at the Halloween and Batman-themed decorations Misa and Mogi were festooning the room with. Only Misa and Light could see him, and he kept his distance, but he had mischief on his mind. _Wouldn’t it be fun if I snagged that bottle of whiskey Watari has in his desk and dumped it into the punch bowl….hmmmmm…..yeah, that would be amusing!_

 

Light walked up beside L as the man turned to open his present. The others had gotten him a variety of things, mostly candies and treats, but L had saved this one for last. He leaned in to whisper in L’s ear, “Happy birthday Ryuzaki. I hope you like it.”

 

L stiffened at having Light so close, staring down at the wrapping paper of pumpkins and candy corn behind his Batman cowl. _I got used to him being near all the time when we had the handcuffs, now I feel surprised every time he is. I miss it, him._ Those emotions annoyed him when he recognized them for what they were, resulting in sleepless nights alone now that Light was back in his own room. “Is Kira’s confession in here? I’d like that very much.”

 

Light deflated a little, trying not to look hurt as L opened up the box and held up a beautiful china teacup and saucer set with tasteful gold detailing around the edges. Down in the bottom of the cup was a gold script letter ‘L’ that couldn’t be seen from the outside or with tea in it, but was there.

 

L was actually amazed, the cup was beautiful, simple, elegant, and felt nice in his hand. It was just the type of thing he might have picked out, nothing to showy, very functional but of high quality. He swallowed, thinking that even though he knew with near certainty that Light was Kira, he didn’t deserve his accusing tone and words in this moment. He fidgeted with his bat cape and said quietly, “It’s lovely. Thank you.” He went to the punch bowl and dunked it in, bringing the punch to his lips with a smile for Light. “It’s my favorite present I’ve ever received.” _I haven’t gotten many presents Light, I’ll be sure not to break it._

 

Light beamed at that, blushing behind the Joker makeup and glad for it now. Many cups of spiked punch later, the team was in a wholly festive mood, and even Aizawa had completely relaxed enough to play bobbing for apples with Mogi and Ide. Matsuda kept leading rousing renditions of ‘For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow’ and telling terrible riddles, while Misa was trying to convince Soichiro to let her give him a makeover. However, maybe due to L’s new cup and wanting to use it, the detective soon recognized that he was feeling more than a little tipsy and so was Light.

 

He hiccuped as he pointed a slender finger around the room, “Hmmm…*hiccup*....which one of you villains spiked the punch?” Everyone giggled but no one owned up to it, and he turned around to face Light. “*hiccup* I bet...I bet this is something Kira would do, isn’t it Light-kun?” He stumbled a little, and Light reached out to catch him before he could fall on his face. L grinned up at him drunkenly, slurring his words a little, “Joker’s gotten Batman *hiccup* intoximacated.” Grumbling, “Part of your….ebil plot as Kirrrra I know it.” A finger shot up in the air, “Your permentage has *hiccup* risen! To….” He looked at Matsuda in confusion, “...what was it before?”

 

But Matsuda was snoring on his desk, drooling with a smile on his face. Light hoisted L up to keep him from slipping to the floor, grinning indulgently. “I believe it was at 18% last time you penalized me.”

 

“Right!” L tried to look serious, but he couldn’t keep from smiling looking at Light, being held against him in his arms. “Permentage is now 75% Light-kun! Tread *hiccup* carefully.” He grumbled something unintelligible about ‘justice’ and nuzzled against Light’s velvet Joker costume, liking the sensation on his face.

 

Light laughed, feeling the effects of the punch himself but not as much as this. Rolling his eyes, “Oh that’s quite a rise, but yes, I’m sure I deserve it.” He glanced at Watari, shrugging his shoulders as he grimaced. Light didn’t know who spiked the punch but it wasn’t him. “A little help?”

 

Watari came over with a chuckle. “Seems someone thought it would be amusing to swipe my whiskey and flavor the punch.” He tut-tutted at L, shaking his head. “Sir, I believe that it is time for you to return to the bat cave, and fight crime another day.”

 

L looked up at Watari from where he was slumped in Light’s arms, “Pondsense! There’s...there’s at least 5 more cupcakes over there, and *hiccup* I need to get back to work because---”

 

“I’ll take him upstairs to his room. I still know the code from when we were…” Light trailed off as he looked down into L’s grey eyes behind his lopsided Batman mask, hair starting to stick out at odd angles from beneath it. “....handcuffed.” He looped an arm under L’s waist, half-leading, half-carrying him to the elevator. “Come on you lush. Who knew Batman was such a lightweight, hmm?”

 

They stepped into the elevator and Light pressed the penthouse floor button. L had been singing ‘Happy Birthday’ off-key to himself but stopped when he felt the elevator begin to rise. Slurring his usual monotone, “I suppose Kira has me...at his percy now....shall my life crash before my eyes when he *hiccup* does me in? Yes...I never expectmed he’d resort to such *burp* base faftics.”

 

“Even drunk and that’s all Ryuzaki can think about. Careful, I’ll start to think you’re obsessed with me.” Light tried to hold in the laughter dying to break out as he led L out of the elevator and to his room, punching in the code and going inside. He laid L down on his bed, reaching to help him take off the Batman mask and cape so he could be more comfortable.

 

But L snatched the cape and held it close. “Uh uh. I like it. I always had great admiration for Batman.” Giving Light a sly look, “How did Kira know to pick that theme for the party, hmmm?” L had never told him that he’d religiously collected every comic since he was a child, buying up all the rare ones he’d missed when he was rich enough to do so. “And Light-kun dressed as the Joker, Kira is truly brazen with his defiance.” _And Batman needed the Joker, just as L needs Kira. A perfect foil and rival, matching wits as true equals. Opposite sides to the same coin. Just like us._

 

Light grit his teeth, feeling his good intentions blowing up in his face. “Stop calling me that.” _Can’t you stop for just one night? Let us pretend, let us be friends this night._ “I just thought it was something you’d like. Sorry it...turned out like this. I wanted you to have fun. You seemed like you could use some.” _Not that you’d appreciate the effort I went to, even if it was a disaster._

 

L tilted his head on the pillow, gazing up at Light as he stroked his bat cape. “I did have fun.” _I really did. I’ve never had a party before, never had friends that cared to throw me one._ He reached for Light’s hand tentatively, but Light met him halfway and held it. “Thank you for the party, Light-kun.” He smiled, letting his grumbly mood fade away as he felt the care behind what Light had tried to do. “And for the present, even if it wasn’t the one I really wanted from you.”

 

Light had relaxed when L reached for him, thinking maybe all was not lost and they could just be Light and Ryuzaki. But no, L had to bring up what he’d said about wanting a confession from Kira on his birthday. He pulled his hand back with a huff, “Sorry I couldn’t give you what you wanted.” He stood up, about to head for the door, but L reached over and tugged on his Joker coat.

 

“You could if you wanted to.” L was dead serious behind his silly mask, and tugged again. His voice went lower, quieter, “I know...it would just be pretend. That’s the present I want. Pretend to be Kira.” _We both know it wouldn’t be pretend, and you’d blame it on me, being drunk. But I need to see it, I need to see the real you._

 

Light froze, his eyes going wide. “You want me to...pretend to be Kira for you for your birthday?!” He jerked his sleeve away from L’s grasp, feeling both thrilled and terrified of the prospect. “I can only imagine what that would do to my percentage. Do you think I’m so stupid as to do that, have you doctor the audio or video and use it against me? I’m not Kira, Ryuzaki. There’s not a chance I’d ever do that.”

 

L sat up in his bed, irritated that Light thought he would have to resort to doctoring evidence to prove a case. “I wouldn’t do that. It would just be for me.” _I know I’m right, I want to feel I’m right._ He moved to a crouch, his bat cape flowing off behind him. “Come on! You have to be dying to do it! Take off your mask for once and let me see you!”

 

Light’s painted face twisted into a snarl, “THAT’S NOT ME!”

 

L, smugly, “Then Light-kun should have no problems with pretending if that is the case. Or perhaps he’s too scared to?” L knew that challenging and taunting Light was one way to make him furious enough to drop the pretense, or it might backfire and make him walk out the door. He didn’t have time to weigh the options before Light had pulled his fist back and slammed it into L’s face. He toppled back off the bed and onto the floor, seething as he looked back up at Light. _I hit the mark and he hit me._ “That was definitely something Kira would do. Has Light-kun decided to play along after all?” He smiled deviously behind his mask, rubbing his chin where Light struck him.

 

Light screamed in frustration, turning away from L angrily but unable to calm himself down. Pointing a finger at the smirking detective on the other side of the bed, “I know what you’re trying to do. Stop it! I’m not doing it!”

 

“But you already are.” L climbed back up on the bed, crawling towards Light with a fascinated look in his eyes. “Because I deduce that this is exactly how Kira would react to being given the opportunity to show himself. He wants to desperately, but he’d fight against his nature, strike out to keep his masks of safety in place. But I’m telling you Light-kun…” He crawled forward more, staring with unblinking eyes but tensed in case he had to dodge another blow. “...this will not be used against you. You are safe.” A little smile, “So give me a happy birthday. _Indulge me._ ”

 

Light breathed hard, fire in his eyes as his nostrils flared with fury. He turned his back on L, grabbing at his hair spray-dyed green for the costume, shaking slightly because who did L think he was playing with? The detective knew what he was doing, egging him on like this, but he was right that Light was dying to do it too.   _I’ll show him...he wants Kira...sure L. Just pretend. Just. Pretend._ He laughed to himself, quietly at first and then louder, more unhinged as his hands slipped from his hair to his sides. Looking over his shoulder at L, he whispered, “That’s right. I am Kira.”

 

L froze on the bed, fingers digging into the bed as his heart began to race. _Oh god it’s happening._ He couldn’t take his eyes off of Light, the way he moved, laughed, spoke. It was all completely different and so...

 

Light closed his eyes and smiled wide, “So now what? Are you going to kill me right here?” He turned around to face L, stepping forward as he stared the man down. Softer, nearly seductively, “Yes, I’m Kira, and the god of this new world.” Light reached out and cupped his face, stroking along L’s bottom lip with his thumb. “ **_I_ ** am the law, and **_I_ ** am the one maintaining order. That is the truth. Now... **_I_ ** am justice. The world’s only hope.” He slipped his thumb between L’s parted lips, hearing the detective gasp softly as he stroked that speechless tongue. “Are you going to kill me? Is that really the right thing to do?” Light pushed L’s cowl back, letting his wild black hair spring free and revealing his face. He put one knee up on the bed, leaning closer to L. “Are you sure you want to capture Kira for your own....satisfaction?”

 

L was transfixed, hypnotized as he closed his lips around Light’s thumb and sucked. It was exactly as he’d dreamed, exactly as he’d known Light could be, was, is. _This is not pretending, Kira stands before me now._

 

Light pushed L down on the bed and knelt across his waist, breathing hard as he stared down at L. His voice rose, became more emphatic, “From the moment I got the notebook, I knew I had to do it. No! I knew I was the **only** one who could do it!” L’s hands were all over his body now, grabbing for him, pulling at his velvet jacket and trying to yank him closer.

 

L panted beneath him, “Don’t stop...keep going…Kira...”

 

“Is this what you wanted, Ryuzaki?” Light laughed and grinned, because he’d always known it, that this was what L wanted. Who he wanted. Just like Batman could never bear to hurt or kill the Joker, L could never kill Kira. Even if he captured him, it was clear….now that he knew he had an equal, L needed Kira like breath. “For me to admit that I _knew_ killing was a crime, but that I didn’t care? It was the only way of correcting this world, and one day, people will accept that as being righteous. And so will you.” He let L pull him down against his chest, let the man find his lips and kiss him hard. He hummed into his mouth as their tongues fought their battles for them, as hands once bound together by steel entwined of their own volition. He broke the kiss, amber eyes staring down into captivated grey ones, and L was trembling in his grasp now.

 

L’s gaze moved between Light’s eyes back to his painted lips, thinking that he could blame this on the alcohol too. That now they both needed cover for all their ‘pretending.’ Words came, barely audible, “Only you could do it. It was always you.” _Only you could do this to me._

 

Light traced his lips across L’s cheek, whispering in his ear, “Would anyone else have been able to do this?” He pressed their hips together to press the point, feeling the evidence of L’s excitement. “Come this far, and continue doing it?”

 

L slowly shook his head, “No Kira. No one else.”

 

“That’s right.” Light smiled against L’s ear before giving it a teasing lick. “Happy birthday.” He went to sit up, coming back to himself and knowing that he had to stop this, the true lies, the fantastic reality. That it could easily go too far and ruin him, maybe already had. But L wrapped his spandex-clad legs around his waist, yanking him back down sharply. He looked down in surprise, “Ryuzaki...I did what you wanted. We should stop this….”

 

L nibbled a finger behind a little smile, “Let’s pretend a little longer. It’s still my birthday for another few hours.”

 

Light wanted to, ached to. But L would sober up and be angry later wouldn’t he? Regret everything and forget what he’d even asked for. “That’s just you talking crazy because of the booze.”

 

“Not the booze.” _I’ve wanted this for a long time._ L grabbed him and flipped their positions in an instant, “But a man that dresses up like a bat clearly has issues.”

 

“Oh, are we quoting the caped crusader himself now?” Light laughed, struggling under L’s grasp for show but not wanting to get away, not wanting to be anywhere but right here. _If you do this L, I can’t resist either._

 

L grinned back and nodded, leaning down to press his mouth to Light’s again, murmuring against his lips before deepening the kiss, “But will I die a hero or live long enough to become the villain?”  _Give me that gift, and we can pretend forever._

 

Light pushed his fingers into L’s hair as pretense fell away, and it was true about those old comic stories, about villains and heroes needing each other. _So sappy and yet so true. I need him._  He couldn’t give this up, couldn’t even pretend to. Pulling away, he saw his red and white makeup smeared all across L’s face and mouth, a gift he’d never asked for. “Ask me again on your next birthday.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it, and have a fun Halloween!


End file.
